Hello & welcome to a celebration of the finest pan--European annual musical jamboree known to man, the Eurovision Song Contest. Let us take this likely one-off opportunity & feast on sardines. A mere 63 years into the ESC & we visit Portugal for the first time, which is an event to be celebrated as this will be their 50th warbler to assail our eardrums. Every dog has it's day so they say, and last year's dog was sickly Salvador Sobral. Although his success underwhelmed me, the history books will state he represents the finest in what was mostly a poor year, barring one stand-out crackers. Italy flopped with one of THE finest Eurosong efforts ever but was ultimately bested by a mildly vexing ballardeer and some Eastern mafia with a fake sax. It's a funny old world.

Lisbon has rolled out the red carpet and damp fans are getting the chance to catch a bit of sun in 2018, which will hopefully dry them out a bit. As for the relative 'quality' on show, 2018 is a peculiar selection. Comfortingly there are a lot of distinctly average songs, and it feels like a mild malaise may be sweeping over the Eurosong contest. On the bright side of course a lack of stand-out song may hopefully result in a more unpredictable competiiton. If I had to pick one early doors, then much early enthusiasm has been reserved for Israel, a song about female empowerment, vocal looping, and chicken impressions. At the beginning of ESC week last year the buzz around Sobral became deafening, so it is with gathering bamboozlement we see Cyprus leap into favourite spot. It's a pop throwback to the noughties, all thrusting & tit-tape. Still rather that than the Estonian wail, or the foul Oirish simper. The semi finals have conlcuded (Thursday's being particularly rum). So expect a true marathon of an evening on Saturday replete with utterly gaga presenters, deeply unfunny interval schtick & antiquated presentation. As for the final itself, I can't recall such disparity of opinion across the damp-fan firmament, with a large handful of average acts being tipped to win. If asked for a winning prediction, I'll just say "Hvala Ne".

Many of the 26 finalists are hoping that the views of the army of press & fans across the endless two weeks of rehearsals have been misplaced, but a few acts will be likely circumspect right now, not least SuRie for the UK, who is a smashing Eurosong ambassador but is saddled with a true stinker of a song, likely to drag her to the bottom of the leaderboard. This year will be covered off in all its weakly researched, low-rent opinion by clicking here (or indeed by clicking on the 2018 logo above).

Also in an attempt not to let my paltry labours of the last 14 years go to waste, below are over a decade of mildly derogatory musings that have no place in a progressive society.

I accept no liability for any loss caused directly or indirectly by any article or layout on this site. Images and sound files are available for demonstration only and remain the copyright of the owners of the recordings contained therein. Reproduction of articles from this site is permitted provided a linked source reference is placed supplied. Thanks for that. Any e-mail addresses given to www.douzepoints.com will not be shared. www.douzepoints.com is a non profit fan site and as such attempts in all cases to avoid copyright problems. Any views aren't meant to be defamatory, and shouldn't be viewed as such. Give peace a chance. The Eurovision Song Contest is a production of the EBU (European Broadcasting Union), and what a great night in (& out) it is too.