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Fame "A couple, standing a yard apart, shouting at each other". |
Femminem Sexy, Baby, and Fancy make up "Femminem". I
think that either something got lost in translation, or that "Fancy"
got the short straw when nicknames were handed out. She sound's more like
something Mr Kipling would drizzle all over with his white fondant (and
maybe he has). Marshall Mathers is perhaps unsurprisingly nowhere to be
seen here. In fact it's difficult to get much farther removed from Eminem's
music. With a knowing wink to Eurovision, "Call Me" was a shocker
of a paean to contests past. Terry's Balkan block voting fetish enabled
the ladies to gain enough points to land them outside of the top ten.
Phew. |
Finland
In nine attempts since 1990, Finland were pants. Their
highest placing during this time was 15th. The economic miracle in the
country was not reflected in terms of pan-European crap-pop. And then
came 2006 & Lordi. The orcs will go down in the anals of Eurosogn
as a wonderful addition to performance over content, cueing incredulous
scenes of celebration in Helsinki. |
Disturbing "Aiki" |
Scary Sonja Lumme |
Cat Cat |
Nina Astrom |
Finn Kalvik
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France
Socialist France, and one of the Big Four, who more
often than not go down the "chanteuse" route (and woe-betide
any entrant differing from the norm). They had a lot of success in the
early years when usually only 4 countries took part, and the Brits were
represented by a young Paul Shane. |
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Bad "Fanny" |
Marie "a winner &
a solid Eurosong name |
Marie Line, not so lucky this one |
Nina Morato...a fruit loop |
Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia FYROM have always been one of my favourite Eurovision
nations, mostly for their knack to stubbornly march on to defeat with
ethnic efforts year and year. They have never wandered into what I would
call Euro-pop territory, and are the other side of the coin to Sweden
and the UK in that regard. |
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The Adorable
Karolina |
Not so adorable Vlado Janevski |
XXL |
F.L.Y.
The first out of the pre-selection blocks back in
January 2003, then with a song at just over 2 minutes long, they wanted
to get the whole sorry thing over with as soon as possible. It was a typical
title-holders follow up with crazy voices, a light-hearted title, but
an undercurrent that the whole nation was extremely serious about winning
the thing again. Re-jigged and lengthened since then, it bombed big on
the night, which was probably down to the disturbing cheesy mugging from
the trio. |
Francine Jordi In 2002, Switzerland fouled the footpath with 'Dans le jardin de mon âme'. Before the contest I hoped that her garden was large enough, so she would bugger off down the bottom of it, and not pollute my ears with this dross more than was absolutely necessary. But she made it to Tallinn, and finished a deserved 22nd. Another step towards true justice in Switzerland, after all that Nazi gold was handed back. |
Friends
In no way a group of lazy New Yorkers who always found
cash for a coffee, but instead a group of aggressive Swedish maidens in
Red leather pants. I know which ones I'd prefer to watch. Oh yes. |