Diminutive Dana…aaah. The little girl back in 1970 who liked all kinds of everything, was adored by many and suffered by most. But she meant what she said, because Dana has since become a European MP by day and a high-class hooker by night. Dana can also keep big black balls up in the air. But that's her night job.

Dschingis Khan

"Hu ha, hu ha" etc. A 1970's paean to an ancient warmonger, sung by a bald German in gold lame tights and weighty shoulder pads, flanked by leather booted backing singers. I defy you to find that anywhere else.
The song had a similar feel to "Bruce Lee" by Underworld, but without all the good bits.
"Hu ha, hu ha".

Dana International


If proof were needed how much improvement a bit of slap can do to a person, take a look at this CD cover from the Israeli winner of 1998. In fact Dana International was still getting used to the balance of having a pair of silicon breasts and a strapped-up willy a year later when she tripped up presenting the trophy to a completely up-staged Charlotte Nilsson. Mind you, who wouldn't be upstaged by an Israeli bloke showing his two veg to 500 million people from under a mini-skirt.


Denmark started the new Millennium by showing just what they could give to Europe music wise, but at the same time refusing to get involved with a new coinage system. 
Two beardies somehow managed to bring home the Danish bacon in 2000, and a more deserved song from King Rollo came a close second the year after. And the co-host that year was a marvel too.
I'm convinced the last place in 2002 and the daylight robbery of 2004 were blips, and Denmark can continue her steadily impressive crap-pop heritage.



Battle Beyond The Stars" Sador blatantly appealed to all homosexuals in Europe to vote for him, and went on to perform the gayest turn for many a year. Disappointingly, the backing singers popped on a pair of shorts for the Final thus depriving the prudish Europeans the sight of a pink leotarded wide-open crotch poised about a foot away from Deen's face. More camp than Pontins, Deen clearly struck the right note with many voters, finishing as it did in 9th and qualifying Bosnia for next year's final. As for the song, "Turn me slow, up and down, here we go." Deen's a pancake! An irredeemably shite pancake that first stuck to the pan, and when tossed (for this is indeed toss) flew out of the pan and into the dog's basket. If you will.