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As ever, I will be keeping a close and beady eye on the market movers and shakers and provide my sage summarised comments. I find myself having to follow the bookies this year, with the current favourite, Sweden, impossible to avoid. After last year's woeful prediction, the pressure is on not just to go with the obvious but offer a long shot of merit before they even take to the stage for the rehearsals. Well as it really doesn't mater to anyone but me, I'll put my mark on a song I don't particularly like which I think is simple enough, already well produced, and from a nation that is very much on the up. And that act is Boggie of Hungary which can be backed at three figures. So never say I don't play a high risk game. Finland will likely do well too, but I'm not recommending that. Azerbaijan is worth looking at, and the UK for bottom is a distinct possibility. 2014: My tips Sweden (Win 3/1 - 3rd),
Norway (Win 14/1 - 8th) So what do I reckon? As usual it's a crap shoot, but good luck in your random acts of betting... |
| Average Odds
taken from a selection of online UK bookmakers - dated 18th April |
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| Average Odds |
Notes |
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| Sweden | 7/5 |
MF final always gives Sweden a bookies boost, but justified this year. Catchy empty headed pop, just the job |
| Italy | 7/2 |
Trio of young operatic warblers we've seen many a time before. Like Fiat, passable, unlike 'em, very very safe |
| Estonia | 6/1 |
The "don't really know what the fuss is about entry". Piggy-backing off the Dutch '14. Alright but they can't sing |
| Australia | 17/2 |
They'll lay what is there all out on stage. Like "Moulin Rouge" on the cheap. He'll be likeable, the song less so |
| Finland | 14/1 |
The anti-ESC vote like no other. A metal outfit of mentally handicapped chaps, joyfully hitting anything near |
| Slovenia | 14/1 |
Standout of the year which isn't saying much. Catchy, with a beginning middle and end. Headphone-tastic |
| Russia | 14/1 |
Yet another peace anthem, which is welcome as ever. This is the rehearsal market mover, worth noting |
| Norway | 20/1 |
A peculiarity which is quite beguilling. Funny looking duo who will need to hit the straps to do the song justice |
| Spain | 20/1 |
As usual, can't relate to the olive-fuelled efforts. She belts it out & I turn down the volume |
| Azerbaijan | 25/1 |
The strongest Eastern effort of the year which will count for much. Expect it near the top if no feathers |
| UK | 33/1 |
Seriously...Just how deluded are we about the ESC...Sometimes I think we are already out of Europe. Tragic |
| Iceland | 33/1 |
Habitual shoeless waif with one long MOR chorus. Expect flowing pieces of silk and middle table obscurity |
| Belgium | 33/1 |
Weird this one, so difficult to predict. Song & staging are surreal, the country's ESC history is not. On the fence |
| Albania | 40/1 |
Not enough indiscriminate wailing, so marks off. But fairly well regarded by damp fans. Also poised on fence |
| Greece | 40/1 |
Dry ice alert. Deeply awful power ballard balls from an improving chanteuse. Like their Euro, on it's knees |
| Armenia | 50/1 |
5 Armenian singers from 5 continents, & still no song. Not even 5 songs trying to be one. No song. Grievous |
| Latvia | 50/1 |
Popular with damp fans, notable for wail, thin arms, and one catchy line. Typical Latvian weird but not awful |
| Belarus | 50/1 |
"Rut a in stuck". Re-arrange at leisure, which is what you'll need to do with the lyrics. Pitiable, even with violin |
| FYROM | 50/1 |
I like the start but it doesn't go far enough. A bit of a Balkan Badly Drawn Boy with RnB, he's a sketcher too |
| Cyprus | 66/1 |
There's always one slowey that puches about it's weight, and it could be Elvis Costello's nephew. Mid table |
| Romania | 66/1 |
A rather migrational gentle effort which is difficult to be critical of. It'll probably have no chance, but v.passable |
| Malta | 66/1 |
More off-key ohohoho wail but nothing to recommend. Expect her to lose the battle |
| Lithuania | 66/1 |
In the year of the Woahohoho's this is the worst culprit. One to avoid for pre-coital playlist. Or just avoid |
| Netherlands | 80/1 |
Adopted Geordie "Whyayayeye" Trijntje tarts her way thru an Anouk-reject. Teeth on edge time |
| Hungary | 80/1 |
An extremely peaceful sleep but in song form. Plaintive, big-eyes, safe, could be a surprise package |
| Austria | 80/1 |
What ESC Justin Hawkins might have been. In other words, hairy retro, fiery piano, and a little bit dull |
| Serbia | 80/1 |
Ballard thru to Bigbeat with chubby girl wailing throughout. Liberal use of "woah's" make it all the more horrid |
| France | 80/1 |
Female singer, singing a French ballard. Wrong side of the board. Say no more. |
| Ireland | 80/1 |
Young one at the piano attempts to make most of a mid range ballard. Not awful, tho' may be hard to progress |
| Germany | 80/1 |
Chip on the shoulder of her little black dress and frog in her throat. Resolutely off-key and shouty. Steer clear |
| Switzerland | 80/1 |
Good chorus, shocking verse. Expect wacky Native American nonsense from the Mauritian. Likely to fall short |
| Georgia | 100/1 |
Ruslana lives! Alright it's Ruslana on the cheap but I wouldn't say it to her face. Mumbo war-like jumbo |
| Israel | 100/1 |
Before you leave, let me show you Tel Aviv. High-tempo indubitable claptrap but enjoyable nonetheless |
| Denmark | 100/1 |
Highly unpleasant in its archetypal Danish turgid clean synthetic pop style. Run a mile |
| Montenegro | 100/1 |
A Vulcan warbles in the inimitable Balkan ballard style. Not what I want |
| Poland | 125/1 |
She belts out a mildly passable ballard from a chair. It'ok, but not wheelie great (christ - ed) |
| Moldova | 125/1 |
Teenager desperately tries to get his end away through the medium of adolescent gay pop tat. Borderline |
| Czech Rep | 125/1 |
Superhuman act with deeply unremarkable song. Another failure to progress is a certainty |
| San Marino | 125/1 |
Bless 'em. Siegel will fail to excite the masses with these two muchkins I fear. Deeply 80's |
| Portugal | 125/1 |
Bereft of hope |
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