Karolina Goceva

Karolina was my gal of choice in 2002, although I have to say it was nothing to do with the gold breastplate/ tutu combo she most ably lugged around the stage. "Od Nas Zavisi" or "It Depends on Us" got her to the Eurosong after her sixth attempt at pre-qualification. Unfortunately Karolina's faith in us wasn't repaid, and she finished in a poor 19th. Still releasing albums in Macedonia, Karolina's light on melody, heavy on synth song remains one of my all time faves. So it is with some trepidation I see her return in 2007.

Katrina & The Waves

Not content with inhabiting Mars first, owning the Middle East, and pushing obesity to the farthest corners of the developing world, it is an American who has the most points ever awarded in the Eurovision Song Contest (under old rules it has to be said). The seemingly permanently happy Katrina (refer also to "Walking on Sunshine"), ambled lovingly into a Dublin Sunday morning in 1997, humming "Love Shine a Light", and carrying a trophy and a humungous pointage of 227 for the UK. One of the best songs ever, too. She has since become a sultry voiced radio DJ, and co-presented the not so spectacular 50th Eurovision celebration.
(It has since been incontrovertibly proven that Katrina is not in fact permanently happy, as she was seen spending most of her time in a foul mood during the 2004 UK pre-selection).

Knut Anders Sorum

Robbed. Pickpocketed. Surprised in the showers by Bubba with his bar of Palmolive. In all my years I would never have imagined that a spot-on Eurovision effort like this would have finished bottom. I can only put it down to his Bakelite suit. One of the true Eurovision shocks. Perfectly respectable backing singers.Un-fussy, catchy, and mildy rousing, rather than arousing. 

Kate Ryan

Kate is a girl with her finger on the nub of youth. She knows that Belgium is famed for it's dance music, and made sure that the video for "I Love You" was shot in a desirable beachfront location. By all accounts Kate, the most internationally renowned artist the Belgians have ever sent to Eurosong, arrived in Athens with her tit-tape and spray-on tan. "Je T'adore" was a difficult one to call. Belgium had previous with this type of song. As recent as 2004, soft-porn Xandee went to Istanbul buoyed by early plaudits and short odds, only to bomb in a very big way. And so it came to pass, that the Belgians went into a state of mourning when the great orange hope failed to make it through to the final, even with her Brotherhood of Man ankle twirl/genuflection. The main problem was that she couldn't hold a note, which is invariably an issue in a song contest, Eurovision or not.


Kaffe's "Lorrain" (in the rain) had the unmistakeable whiff of corruption from the start. Bulgaria's first Eurosong effort caused a national scandal when their national competitors went on record to say that voting was fixed. Well, if only for the evidence of the song itself, I would say that they had a point. You can feel the desperation here. It's tangible. Something is sadly wrong when a band insist on rhyming the title of a song with a low pressure weather condition. And then repeat the line with pride. The lyrics and music are without reproach this year in the plain miserable plaintive awfulness of it all. It's what you may dread to hear when you're stuck in a bad jazz club in Tipton on a midweek evening. It spattered from the heavens like standing behind a elephant with stomach problems.