"...and
I even landed a few modelling jobs for Kays catalogue and Clark's shoes,
which really impressed my mates!"
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"...and
I even landed a few modelling jobs for Kays catalogue and Clark's shoes,
which really impressed my mates!" |
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The Spin Natalie Powers Everyone tells me I'm like a bottle of pop. I'm very bubbly, friendly and quite mad, I suppose! I've been like this ever since I was a kid. I started singing and dancing since I was seven and appeared in the national tour of Annie, playing the youngest orphan. I didn't go to drama school or anything, but was so into performing that I moved from Sutton Coldfield to the Arts Educational School in Chiswick. Since then I've had all kinds of jobs - some of them a million miles away from the stage! I lasted at McDonalds for about four weeks, did a stint as a receptionist in a hair salon and even worked as a model for an art class for a while. (And no, I wasn't nude!). But it was starring on the West End stage in Tommy (understudying Kim Wilde) and in Starlight Express that I was really in my element. David John Louis Ducasse (pronounced "Duck
Ass") O.K, so I can be moody and keep myself to myself at times, and completely lairy minutes later, but that's because I'm a true Scorpio, which also means I'm very honest, trustworthy, opinionated and good for a laugh. I didn't go to drama school like the others. I did go to drama classes on Saturday mornings and then managed to land myself a role as one of the regular extras in three series of Byker Grove, which was brilliant. In one episode, we were all supposed to be doing the Great North Run, so they made me dress up in a Ninja Turtle outfit which looked sooo ridiculous! I've had a few jobs since then. Besides dressing up as Walkers Man and handing out packets of Walkers crisps in shopping centres, I've also been in two bands and worked as part of the Butlin's in house entertainment team, the Crazy Crew, in Ayr for three summers. I had the time of my life! Caroline Emily Barnes When people meet me for the first time, they never know how to make me out because I don't give too much away.. My family lived in Leeds until I was nine, which is when we all moved to Spain. Living on the Costa Del Sol was great and I'd go to this little ballet school at weekends. When I was 13 my mum brought me back to the UK, to Devon, where I went to dance school full-time, I met Russ when I started at Lane Theatre Arts College and we instantly hit it off. While at college I started doing bits of modelling, including starring in an advert for Calvin Klein underwear for the USA. Russell Spencer It's true, I'm always smiling and happy - and I couldn't be happier than I am now, being part of SCOOCH. As a kid I was always very shy, so my mum sent me to drama classes to build my confidence. Before long, the headmistress had me singing in all the school shows and I even landed a few modelling jobs for Kays catalogue and Clark's shoes, which really impressed my mates! I guess I've always wanted to entertain, even since I appeared on Brian Conley's TV talent show. My mum's still got it on video and it's hysterical! I was a real showbiz kid and earned myself a bit of pocket money singing at weddings and the like. Being in SCOOCH gives me a real buzz. My dream is to get on the road and perform in front of hundreds of screaming girls. |
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The Singers Worth particular mention is David, appearing in Aladdin in Hartleppol, is the man who won the honour of enunciating the "would you like something to suck on for landing, sir?" line, followed as it is by the gayest pursing of the lips and wink since Michael was asked if he knew anything about Armitage Shanks urinals. He is co-habiting with Russ, the big blond about town, the type of guy who can't help popping into any pub he's passing for a pint of frothy top. Finishing off the group (and my, I hope someone will) are two ladies of varying shades of pumpkin. The more rusty colour spray on goes to Natalie, who also hasn't got quite enough money together to live on her own, whereas Caroline ironically given her nickname of "Ronseal" is more of a fake gamboge hue, and is expecting a child. |
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The Song The full title of this rancid toss of a track is "Flying the Flag" (for you). There are sound minded people out there who take offence at the bravado of these muppets who feel they are representing my interests abroad. Their song, apart from being derivative, amateur, contrived, desperate and unworthy, is also unconvincing. Dressed in airline steward costumes (just like Slovenia's Sestre not 5 years previous..and they were drag queens), they prance around the stage in no particular pattern with semaphore sticks, food trollies and a glazed expression on their face that must be held still less their terracotta face plastering shatter to the floor. Utterly without merit, and I've already emailed Jemini's contact details, as Scudge will be needing them.
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| Overall I can only hope that the BBC wake up and don't give the public the opportunity to vote shite like this into the contest. Scooch fully deserve to finish bottom, and I sincerely hope they do. Sadly packing away my UK flag, I must lean on another countries goodwill for 2007. Their vocal abilities have already been proved wanting, their performance is unoriginal and uninspiring, and familiarity has bred contempt. Verka of the Ukraine is on directly before the UK, and so Scudge will have their jaffa juices of confidence drained out of them from the wings as a proper performer shows how to do tongue-in-cheek. David will be remembered however, even though his hero ,Mr John Inman, will be turning in his L-shaped coffin. In a Nutshell |
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the philosopher says paradox An absurd truth. Hence, the
derivation of an unacceptable conclusion from apparently unquestionable
premises by an apparently valid inference. Resolution of a paradox requires
that we abandon at least one of the premises, refute the process of inference,
or somehow learn to live with the unpalatable result. Zeno used paradoxes
to demonstrate the impossibility of motion. For example, as an Eurosng
fan I have had to live with the absurd truth duie to overwhelming peer
suggestion that Scooch actually have a chance of a top ten finish. I have
therefore had to abandon the valid inference that their song is f#cking
tripe, and get used to the very unpalatable result of the UK thinking
that Scooch has been a good representative for their nation. |
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Flying the Flag This is your captain speaking |
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he John Inman who services men in a fictional department store
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is he David of Scooch who services men in passenger class. |
| Prediction | Semi Final | - |
| Final | 24th and last |
| Over-enthuastic deluded balls of the year from Scooch..."This whole experience is amazing. Winning the British vote was fantastic and now we are releasing the single throughout Europe and preparing to go to Finland so we are just having a great, and very busy, time. 'Flying The Flag' definitely ticks all the boxes as far as a Eurovision Song Contest entry is concerned; it has a catchy tune, memorable lyrics, there is something for adults and children and the performance has a brilliant dance routine. We will definitely be flying the flag high for Britain in Finland." |
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