23 year old Karate Kid Chris is something of an all-rounder. He sings, has a black belt in karate, is a musician and a self-defence instructor. Now that is an impressive list of achievements.

A full time performer, Chris started playing the piano aged 6 and it wasn't until he turned 16 that he opened his mouth and let his lungs run riot. Presently, he plays all the local pubs and clubs as part of a two piece group. He also does security for a local niteclub. You definitely do not want to mess with this fella.
Chris is a fourth degree black belt in Karate and also teaches Kick Boxing. He has won eight All-Ireland medals and countless competitions. His Jackie Chan reputation is known the length and breadth of Ireland.
Every Thursday Chris gives self-defence lessons to schoolgirls, these lucky ladies are thrown every which way by Chris and are shown how to beat the lard out of any would be attackers. This Charlie's Angels style setup must be torture for poor Chris.

The ever busy Chris has recently recorded an album which he wrote and arranged himself. Chris' music idol is the King of all things cheesy, Mr. Elvis Presley. We'll let him away with that one.
The eagle eyed among you will recognise Chris from his stint on The Lyrics Board a few weeks ago. Being a huge Elvis fan he performed "I never want to fall in Love" and went down a storm. What most of you don't know is that Chris was performing with a sprained ankle. While rehearsing in RTE before the show he fell down the studio stairs. Being the toughie that he is he soldiered on and gave a rousing performance.
Health conscious Chris doesn't drink or smoke. It's tough being Superman!!
When not being a Superhero, Chris likes playing with his toys. (i.e.) cars. Any chance he gets he's tinkering away with his dinkies. His mum is a bit worried that he hasn't really left his childhood behind.

TOP TIP ALERT: Chris has asked us to let all the laaadies know that he is free, single, available and willing. And has no problem going out with fans!! Form an orderly queue girls….
Chris was in complete shock when he got picked as Louis wildcard. Since then he has been harassed by fans, press, TV and radio. The night he got through Chris hit the town and went to his local niteclub but had to leave an hour later. People kept shaking his hand and congratulating him, so much so that his hand nearly fell off and he lost his voice.

The Singers
"it wasn't until he turned 16 that he opened his mouth and let his lungs run riot". 
It's funny that, because I always thought the Irish were born talking.
Chris is the winner of "You're a Star", the talent show, and like any other Irish representative at the ESC, he now enjoys a high level of popularity even before the contest itself. In spite of his singing talents which are meagre to say the least. 
"When not being a Superhero, Chris likes playing with his toys".

The Past
The self-proclaimed "Home of "Eurovision", the Irish, not unlike the Americans, clearly lack a sense of irony.
If I was to get pettily serious about this, it is in fact the UK who have on average the most points per contest as well as the highest placing per contest. But I won't, so instead I'll say well done to the Oirish for their record 6 wins in relatively few appearances. And without any sarcasm, may I take this opportunity to also thank them for giving the world the creative force of Michael Flately & his Riverdaaance.

The Song

Chris De Burgh's back! Lock away your lighters and your unibrow neighbours! Only the Irish can pretend to get away with the word "wholesome" in a song. Hardly the things that Slipknot are made of. It's the type of song that you'd slam your front door on, after some God botherer interrupts you halfway through your dinner. It was written by Kerry McFadden's husband, Brian from Westlife. Nuff said.

Overall

Christian rock - one of the greatest errors of Western civilisation. And this is one of the greatest errors ever to grace Eurovision. Guaranteed points from the UK, but the question is whether other nations will show more taste? Fail, Ireland, fail.

In a Nutshell
"Blarney Balls"
 

If My World Stopped Turning
 
I could see my future
When I'm loking in your eyes
And I can sense security
Just by you being in my life

Little voice inside my head
Says you're an angel in disguise
Without you I feel hopeless
Without you I'm deprived

I wish I could describe it
All the love I feel inside
Maybe I can find the words
That would make you realize

My life seems near perfect
When I got you in my arms
That's when I feel wholesome
That's when I am with you

If my world stopped turning in the morning
And if God should take this all away
If it all should stop without a warning
I would still stand tall
'Cause behind it all
You're the one who's made a winner out of me

I lie alone to touch you
And it comes as a surprise
That we spend so long apart
Even more that I survived

If I could speak frankly
There's one thing I can say
That I'm falling for you, baby
Falling further every day

And if my world stopped turning in the morning
And if God should take this all away
If it all should stop without a warning
I would still stand tall
'Cause behind it all
You made me your winner

If my world stopped turning in the morning
And if God should take this all away
If it all should stop without a warning
I would still stand tall
'Cause behind it all
You're the one who's made a winner out of me
Prediction Semi Final N/A
Final 23rd